Cusslikeasailor’s Blog
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Gender performance Confusion (sexually explicit)

I have come to the conclusion that I am bi-polar in my gender performance (fancy for butch or femme). Some people like to take the term androgenous, but not for me. Its not a blur between the genders, its just I want to be completely dominant and have a girly girl on my arm, or I want to be the girly girl. I’m sure its perfectly normal but com’mon now, its confusing as fuck. As stated in my last entry I really just want to fuck a girl that when we are done fucking, I have her lipstick smeared around my mouth, sweat gathering on my forehead, and just so much heat in the room you can cut it with a butter knife.  I want this but I will not be the girl that wears the lipstick, ever. But I do sometimes want to be the one that is dominated and treated like a girl. Geeze, that is very confusing.

I have learned so much about myself sexually. I have learned that I love being dominated, only with certain people. I have to be comfortable for reasons from my past. I also learned that I want to dominate. I learned that I like being choked, Iv’e also found myself wanting to do it to other people. Its a turn on having that kind of control. I’ve also realized that horror and gore turns me on. I have never gotten off harder then when I had sex while I was [listening] to a horror movie. The girl screamed in terror as I screamed from pleasure. It was intense. My apologys to those who are disturbed but you can just as easily leave this blog.

I’m at such a strange cross road in my life, with the oppertunity to take any and all paths. It is not a major turning point in my sexual life or life in general. It is a major time for oppertunities. I have never been more excited.

Sentence of the day. “An unkindness [of Ravens]- n., a group of ravens.”

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