Cusslikeasailor’s Blog
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Why?

I don’t understand why I am having all these emotions. I have been talking to amanda again, and I’m realizing when I talk to her that I still love her. I am still in love with her, and that I wish she could get her life together so me and her could be happy again like we were when we first go together. When we were engaged, and I was going to marry her, and we had our little family. I look back all the pictures, the smiles, the kisses, and the holidays. Its so hard to look at them and remember the bad times.  I’m starting to push out all the bad memories and all thats left are the good. I hate it. I want to hate her, I want to forget about her. I don’t know. I’m done with it all.

Me and Lauren finally had the whole talk about just being friends. It was such a relief. No more pressure, no more psychoticness. We have been having a lot more fun together as just friends anyway.

I will update more later, i need to go take a shower and get ready for the day.

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